My name is Alisha. I was a cutter for 3yrs. tell i ever told anyone and actually i never planned to i was covering up a lie for my friend. my mom over heard me on the phone and she went and told my dad what she heard me saying and i got called into my parents bedroom and they asked me what the meaning of what i was saying. I did not know what to say so i started to cry and it slipped out.

after wards i felt so stupid for telling them and all these ideas came to my head of what i could have said. but now as i look back it was a blessing. after everyone in my family knew of my secret life they all acted weird around me for awhile. but then eventually i started going to a counselor and i got to the real bottom of what was wrong i realized how much i looked up to my mom and how when she just left me it really effected me and how my parents divorce hurt me more than i was willing to admit. while all this family drama was going on my older brother chris who i really felt like i was close moved out. he was gone for the time when most of the drama was going on so all i really had was cutting and my best friend katrina and my brother alan, katrina always told me that i needed to stop cutting and that i meant a lot to her. and really me and alan never really did talk about anything

but still when we did it was heart felt. me and alan now are closer than ever and chris came back to the family. but anyways of my story, i turned to cutting because i loved to feel the physical pain than the emotional. i loved it when the blood was there and all i could feel was the stinging not my anger and hurt. but as the 3 yrs went on i got worse and worse i started to think suicidal and so many times i i could have just slight my wrists but i didn't because i didn't want to die any more than the next person i just saw it as an escape from the emotional hell i was living in! 7 times my parents were supposed to get divorced but never have gone through with it. i never really have forgiven chris for leaving or my mom one day i just expect them to leave again. i love my family and i thank them for helping me see not just how bad i was treating myself but also them, i will NEVER forget when alan told me that he could not live without me, it was at that moment i knew i really had to stop cutting. all in all i have been cut free for 2 months and even though i really crave it every time i'm mad sad or stressed i remember how much i regret it when my family finds out what i did and how i see how much they worry about me and love me. i hope that everyone out there can get the help they need and that someday they can have the blessing i have a family that was there for me and never left my side because i was a si. thank you for listening to my story.