Crying all night long because I'm suddenly realizing
How hard it is to actually give up an addiction
To fight, to cry, to give off emotions toward others despite my problems
Although I understand now that I was wrong to begin
All the feeling I have inside are vulnerable and scared
And vulnerability is the reason for my addiction
And I hate being scared of wondering when it will happen
Plus it's not like any other kind of addiction
Because I always get that sudden rush; a feeling of power yet pain
I continuously running; running from my problems and my fears
Scared, afraid, and nervous to cry, to feel, to be comforted
Only being comforted by myself, the only one who understands
I'm the only one there for me at night when the tears endlessly come
Keeping it a secret and hiding every trace of evidence
But all the razors in the world could never make up for the pain inside
And all the minutes of taking apart razor blades could never add up to the months and years of hell and being alone in this.