I hurt myself with sharp things for reasons I'm not quiet sure. You probably think it's disgusting, or maybe you don't care at all. But I'm the one that lives with it, with the fear of explaining it to a girl. I'm not pretty to start with, and that doesn't help me at all.

You may find that this is boring you, you've heard it all before. You probably think its disgusting, and show no interest at all. But that's what I'm trying to tell you, how easy it is to self harm. The trigger is often simple, but soon spirals out of control.

Some blame everything on testosterone, or the discomfort of monthly menstruation. I find it hard to satisfy my questions, so the conflict within me still rages. Women struggled hard for equal rights, if they ever got them at all. Yet some girls of today seem happy, being called and used like a whore.

Love is hard to find in some people, many are dark to the core. It's easy to surrender to apathy, I'm as guilty as any I know. Its frightening how many hate for no reason, and they're aware of it I'm sure. Are foxes really our enemy or the pedophiles living next door?

Masturbation has become ludicrous, and can't hold my attention no more. A perfect face is unattainable unless you're queer or a plastic whore. Things in my mind disturb me, purely male I can't be sure. I wonder if my future will be lonely, tainted with distress or lore?

I know some that tried to tame it, push it deep down into their souls. There are others I know that train it, make it look like it should be adored. I'm not quite sure why they do this, maybe they just feel alone. But I still struggle with this kind of saviour, infection of my soul.