I cannot see my body as a sheet of anything but glass
Not as milky silk, pure or smooth
For mine is one that catches, rips
I do not remember silk

I do remember steam pressed shower rain
Rinse away, rinse away. Wash it all away.
As I watched sins go down the drain
And wrapped myself in... silk?

I do not remember.
All I see is myself standing there
There, where I scrubbed and stabbed and squeezed
Red erosions, white escarpments

Self-stigmatic
I think, in the name of purity?
I do not remember
I wish I could remember

Insomnia for the insomniac
I haven't slept in days
Desperation is my drug
It keeps this frenzy frantic

Waking from a world of dream,
To a nightmare without choice,
To a nightmare with only one end
I killed everything to get to it

...like waking from a dream
Only to not remember it
Only to not remember alleviation
Or remember what it is to be awake

Awake, like silky morning skin
I cannot remember it