Everyone thinks I'm sooo perfect. I'm rich and popular. They think that I have it ALL but they are sooo wrong. It all started out one day when I was in the 7 grade. I had a b/f and everything seemed that it was going perfect but then it all started to change... I always flirted with other guys besides my boyfriend and he started to get really mad. Then a lot of girls starting calling me horrible names and it hurt what they were saying. I was also playing tennis then and my parent's are obsessed with me playing that game. I think that they want me to be a tennis star! then I had to still worry about my grades and my b/f. it was so hard I was just getting over loaded with everything that I had to do. Like I was trying to be what everyone expected me to be perfect.... I couldn't take it anymore so I tried something my friend was talking about. Cutting yourself. I thought it was sooo stupid when I first heard it but then I started thinking about it. I went home that day and pulled out a razor. I slowly slit my arm. A little blood came up but nothing serious. I was in shock to how good it felt. I forgot about everything! I loved seeing my blood come up. so I kept doing it everyday till I was all the way up my arm. Then my parents found out. They were going to send me to therapy but I refused to go. I just told them I would stop. But I didn't. I ended up doing them on my hips and the tops of my arms so that my parents couldn't see. At the end of my 7 grade year I stopped finally. I thought that it was all over but I was wrong. At the middle of the summer me and my b/f broke up. It ended up being a relief. Finally my 8 grade year started. My old b/f and I started liking each other again and we would tell each other that we loved each other and everything. then we went out for two weeks and he dumped me for another girl! I couldn't believe this. My head was spinning every which way. So I got out my razor and cut again and loved the feeling. I forgot about everything! I was happy again. Then he broke up with his g/f and started saying that he loved me again. Life couldn't get better! but I was really wrong. he started getting really possessive and get mad if I was telling another guy I liked him and me and him weren't even going out! But he was saying things to other girls that were just gross but he didn't tell the other girls that he loved them. But I couldn't take it so I did it again on my stomach. I loved moving my hand over the cuts. It felt sooooooo good. Then I got over it and got myself another b/f. I liked it at first but then my old one got REALLY mad. He went all off on me! and then he started cutting himself mainly because of me! I didn't no what to do I cried. And I think that I still like him a whole lot and that I'm just using my current b/f just to forget about him! And that is what my life is right now really fucked up my sn is cowen1101s and my e-mail is cowen1101@yahoo.com talk to me sometime.