I feel the withdrawal starting
Not so much physical as in my mind
But it soon will become a physical pain
Just like all the other times
How can I break this addiction?
How can I keep from going back?
It's so hard not to give in
Not to get off track
It's an addiction unlike any other
Because it never goes away
You don't go through the withdrawal and then move on
You deal with it every day
It becomes a constant need
Whenever things go wrong
The pain inside is what really kills
So you create surface pain to make you strong
You take the anger out on yourself
And let it bleed out for everyone to see
Smiling though inside you're screaming for help
Wishing that someone could set you free
From the addiction controlling your life
How much longer until I break?
I hate being a slave to this
But I can't undo that first mistake
That first cut that got me started
Down a path of self-destruction
That first cut that got me started
My first escape introduction
Now as I examine the scars
And what they represent to me
I wonder if I can break this cycle
If there is a way to be free
I have to take this one day at a time
And pray I make it through
Because there is nothing better or worse
Then when the loser of the battle is you
And it is a constant battle
You're fighting to be free
From the chains this addiction creates
That you feel though you can't see
I'm tired of fighting but I have to keep on
I have to win this fight!
Because the cost of losing
Would eventually be my life
It's a dangerous situation
The stakes are very high
I could win and regain my freedom
Or I could lose and die
So I continue to fend off
All of this anger and hate
Fighting the constant battle between
Myself and my razor blade