You cradle the blade
but you're afraid
to die
or think that far ahead

you want just
to feel the rush
of pain
of joyous agony
you pay for in blood
down the sink.

endless cycle
downward spiral
the blade cuts deeper
and deeper
63 strikes
74,
how many can you fit

scars stop healing
arm stops feeling
strikes upon it
so you move to the other
hell, you've got more limbs
temporary relief becomes
an addiction

so you take it to school
to you it's justified
what if you failed a test
so you don't have to wait

just in case

....third hour period presentation
....kid in the front row is cruel
....and it hurts

bell rings
to the bathroom
it's empty
to the corner
cutting left handed
until blade is wet
and it slips
and you're out

'till she finds you
your best friend finds you
sprawled on the bathroom floor
she would have screamed
if she hadn't seen it before

she just applies a compress
and cleans up the mess
and calls your parents
with talk of sleepovers
so you can stay at her house
and rest
and they believe it:
why
would their
happy
innocent
child
lie?