i'm only 12 years old. last summer my brother was in a car accident and died. I wasn't very close to him but it still affected me because it was my fault. I was also supposed to go with him. That's when i started to cut. It started to get worse and worse. As i became more and more depressed i then became less and less aware of my problem. I hid it from everyone around me. I didn't have many friends. Halfway into seventh grade no one knew about it, then i had more friends then i knew what to do with. I started to do it more and more at increasingly bigger cuts. Then my friends started to realize what i was doing. No one at my school had known what it was. Then i realized i had a problem. Every where I'd go someone would ask me why i did it or some other stuff like that. Soon some of my friends were doing it as soon as i realized it was bad and i needed to stop. after 5 people all very close to me started to cut it pushed me so far one night i cut myself so much i was close to dying. I have always kept this away from my parents and siblings. My whole school knows but no one else does. Soon i started not to cut. It worked for about 6 months until my friends started up again. They were about to get sent away. I found a way to have them stop by telling them about all the reasons not to stop and all the bad things that could and would happen to them. still, people at my school were cutting and i couldn't do anything to stop them. I wasn't going to let them ruin their lives. So i thought that if i would commit suicide maybe they would stop. I tried one night with only 3 people knowing. i cut one of my major veins in my wrists. I was going to let myself bleed to death, but then i thought about my family and friends and how much it would hurt them to let a second sibling die. so i stopped it by pressing so hard. I live by the hospital so i went there with my insurance card and they fixed it. I then realized it was time to stop. Eventfully someone got everyone to stop. But i now realize how wrong it was. Every once and a while i feel like i need to but i think of my brother and decide to go do something else.