It is like a release that no one understands. The metal shines like a diamond you have been waiting for your entire life. As it shimmers a fire burns deep within you. The diamond presses against you, cold against the rising temperatures. It cuts. It tears you apart. You can see all the pain, all the flaws you hate, all the things you don't need that are trapped in you. They flow out, like water from a tap. A smile spreads across your face. Your heart beats faster, and your eyes glaze over. It is like watching a beautiful movie; one that you are lucky enough to be a part of. The world melts away, and it just you and this feeling, this wonderful feeling of pain that you have created. Nobody besides you can do this, and it is you that can stop it or push farther. You push farther. The crimson tide flows out of you, and it is breathtaking. The color, the sheer beauty of it, you feel a tingle in your throat. You try to suppress it, but you can't. Laughter comes rolling from your lips, it comes from deep within you, and you love it. The irony of your laughter strikes you. How most would think it should be tears; makes the laughter so much more intense. And you love it. You have wasted so many tears; this is a time to be happy. You are free. The painful reality that you have to deal with is gone, and you are left alone in this bliss. Perfect, unadulterated bliss. The laughter begins to fade, and slowly the euphoric high begins to falter. The diamond is put back in its box to wait until another day. The glaze begins to fade from your eyes, and you can see the world again for all its pain, but it is different now. It is not so harsh. You don't really want to ruin the masterpiece but you know you must. You wrap a sock, a towel anything will do, around your wrist, your arm, your perfectly scarred canvas. As you return to the mundane world the voices are not so harsh, they are not so loud. It is like someone turned down the volume on life and you can once again hear yourself think. This is a peace that nobody can understand. Your release that is just between you and the only friend you know you can always count on.