(And I sat and my hands shook as I looked at that simple white covered book)

She lifted the cover and began:

"I had a vision.. his eyes ran past the line he never did..."

And she read to herself the words written down in her shaky handwriting as all 125 pages were full.

Tales of misery, tales of tears but all tales of how she wanted him back. And each page she read, her heart cracked more and more.

All the pain came flooding back.

She looked up into the other girls eyes.

"This is for him after my death," she said " for only then will he ever try to understand."

This was for him after her death.. only then would he care.

A faint smile wiped her frown away as she read

"...as the snow fell they kissed for the first time in so long.."

(How that foreshadowed the future)

The crack in her heart would never heal now.

"So many people have said I should give him all of those notebooks for her appears in all of them, but he is not worthy of all my life."

"This is for him after my death for only then I could permit him knowing my pain."

And the open notebook fell out of her hand and dropped to the floor.