As a child i was never really happy.. I would always try to be the best as i could up to my parents standards. I guess i first started to self injury when i was very young, around 7-8 when i would fill up the kitchen sink with boiling hot water and put my hands into it.. it felt good but i didn't exactly know what i was doing. At that time my parents had split up and i was moved to various different places, not staying in one spot. That went on for many years.

It wasn't until i got to high school that i got really depressed. I just wanted to hide away from the world, lose all contact with everyone and just be alone. I got really aggressive, found myself in fights all the time and always wagging school to get away from everyone. That's when i got into knives and razor blades. I think the first time i cut was when my sister carved her boyfriends name into her leg, and i tried to do that as well, and found that i loved the pain. It just realised so much anger, pain and hate... Sometimes i would sit in my room, taking a knife to my wrist and just cutting.. it felt so good. I would use blades and razors. No one ever noticed my cuts because i would always wear long sleeved shirts. I once showed one of my friends and she just shrugged it off and didn't care - that made me cut even more. So i continued to cut, only on my wrists and sometimes on the inside of my thighs. But i would always cut over scars. That went on for a few years and then when I was about 15, one of the youth workers noticed them and set me up with a counselor and that totally did not help. I hated going to her. Then in July 2003 i met my boyfriend and i realised that life isn't so bad.. It was hard to give up cutting, it was like an addiction, but i got there... And since i haven't cut in about 8 and a half months... So i guess it is possible to give up doing, but hard..