I have been looking through the stories on here a lot today. I notice some stories that are just horrific in comparison to mine while others sound oddly familiar. I guess that I am writing this to let them all know I know what it's like going through. I at the moment have three fresh (as of two minutes ago) burn marks in my left forearm. I heated up the flat end of a screw and held it agains my skin. I have really taken to burning lately. I feel the pain progressing as it boils away my skin. It is far better for me than cutting. Although I have done my share of wrist slashing in the past. It just isn't enough anymore the burning actually helps me reduce the pain. My parents don't even notice anymore. That's okay I don't want to stop. I have no reason to want to stop. No I don't want to die, at least not all that much anymore. I'm doped up on Paxil I sleep almost all the= time. I see life through a groggy haze. But i release all the tension through writing or burning. I guess I am really losing it this time. When I first started burning the pain was unbearable but now it doesn't even hurt. I feel myself falling farther away I don't want to admit I have a problem. I feel so alone. I can literally feel myself falling away from reality.