Pain so real
Memories that wont let me forget
Memories that wont let me heal
I used my razor to numb the pain
And soon afterwards tears fall down my face like rain
Help me as I sit here bleeding and screaming
Am I invisible
Do you not see me
No one even seems to remotely care
Am alone falling to the deep depths of my despair
This deep pain I feel inside
I've lost all my fucking pride
All I want to do is just break down and cry
I don't want to hide
A few pills and this will all end
Just a few pills
My body consumed by painful chills
How many times will I have to die before I realize its suicide
You're so blind to the smile and the words you see
So damn gullible to everything about me
But what you don seem to see
Is this isn't me
I go home each night and weep to sleep
I wrap my body in my bloody sheets
I take a few pills to help me fall asleep
Pain and agony from the past and future combine
All this thought about death destroys my mind
So take a fucking min. and look at me
Tell me what exactly do you see
Looking at me tell me do you love to see me cry
To you love to see me mutilating myself always wondering why
Looking at me I see you never loved me
Here is your last shoot
Instead you say good-bye
And knowing you never loved me I committed suicide
Looking back at myself now I realize I didn't want to die
I want to be back
I don't care if you make me cry
'Cause now I see you crying because am gone
And now I see the truth behind all those lies you told me
Now I see that was your way of loving me
I see you now only in my distant dreams
Seeing your pain hearing your screams
Am living a shadow life
Now more than ever afraid to pick up the knife
Knowing my only choice was death
But realizing am afraid to take my own breath
Afraid to live and afraid to die
Life has become nothing more than a silent cry
So in the shadow I shall remain
Slowly getting used to and liking the pain