Another week
Another joy
Another lost battle with my mind
Entering the building, I am content<
Bright colors and smiling faces
Their warmth spreads throughout the room
A room of safe embraces
I think to myself, "Is this family?"
Gathering close and spending time with Dad
No need for a campfire
The fires in peoples' hearts are already visible
Time is my only enemy here
It speeds up on me
Too soon it has to end
And I am on my way back home
Back to my emotional cemetery
Back to the cold place
I try not to scream as we get closer
Scream out, "No!
Please!
Anywhere but there!
Don't you know who's in there?"
Instead I smile and make conversation
Often telling my friend of problems at home
Hoping that one day he might feel for me
Like one does for a horse with a broken leg
And take me out to some pasture and shoot me
Ending my misery
Sending me Home
But no, not this time
My mask of bravery falls calmly in place as I step out of the car
Smiling; I walk inside as my friend drives away
I try to sneak it
Hoping everyone's asleep
I need no fights to help chill my bones as I slip under the covers
My guardian angel cat jumps in bed with me
Snuggling against my side to both protect and be protected
If only there was a way to tell him just how much of a help he was
I sigh...
Say a quick prayer...
And close my eyes...
...And he hurts me all over again...