My hand shakes
My heart beats painfully in my chest
Why won't it stop?
Why can't I be strong?
How did this start?
When did I become this?
It's so easy at times
Why is it so hard now?
Why can't it just be over?
It started so recently it's hard to believe
It started so long ago I can't remember a time when I wasn't this
This addict in need of a fix.
It's like I can't function
I try to think but my mind's gone blank
Trying so hard not to think of it
until I can think of nothing else
Was there ever a time when I was in control?
Or has this always controlled me?
I try to replace it
To choose the lesser evil
But it's become me
No matter what, it will always be me