It gets to be too much
I need
......to let it out
Only way I know how

I catch sight of my(no) reflection
I blink
.......at the resolve on my face
There's no turning back now

I enter my (secretsecret) abyss
It hides my dark deceit
How I hope no one finds it
(Ohwontpleasesomeonefindit)

I start the slow surrender
so calm so cool so strong
(I wish I was this strong)
Stinging burning flowing feeling

I look at my reflection
Everyday I recognize it less
Losing myself
.............in these scars

I tried to change
.................to no effect
Now working hard to get back to me
(Who am I again?)

Scared of what could be
Terrified of what is
I, race to find:
Something. I can't name
Or maybe it's just to stop
To be, someone something
Else other better
Fighting everyday to be.