The blade touches the skin
........Shiver of anticipation
As the cut forms
........Blood wells on the skin
Slowly dripping down my arm
........Again, again, again
Flame kisses flesh
........Cauterizing, purifying
Slipping further into my mind
........No pain, no worries, infinite joy
A blur of blood and ecstasy
........Never wanting to leave
Sliding further into my soul
........Away from body and responsibilities
Absolute purity, endless blue
........The drug state fades
Fear and pain return
........Unwelcome thoughts enter
Reality is terrifying
........Why can't I stay here?
Live my life
........In never-ending bliss
Without people
........To criticize and judge
There must be an easier way
........To escape his incinerator
Of hate and despair
........Without pain or blood
I will find a way
........Until then...