When the phone is disconnected
And the wind is howling low,
My mind will wander to that
Which I wish I did not know.
Come, sharp silent friend
A song, a sight, a spooky smell
Is all it takes before
My eyes are clamped shut tightly
And I'm rolled up on the floor.
Your mercies never end
No one is there to help me
Keep my mind off of my past;
I'm clutching my stuffed animals,
My god is fading fast.
Your help you must extend
The pain starts deep, but soft and slow,
A vague, elusive ache.
I writhe in anxious torment but
There's no pill I can take.
Thy tender sculpting send
Suddenly a faint suggestion
Slithers through my brain,
Hisses offers sweet and kind,
A different kind of pain.
My twisted feelings mend
Shifted focus, simple hurt
And something I can see,
Flowing warmly from my hands
This toxic memory.
My inner wounds you'll tend
Now it throbs and stains my clothes,
This act of cruel deliverance
Sent forth to me to clear my mind
In quick benevolence.
Toward me, steel heart, do bend
Whatever screams and tortures great
I slice upon my shell,
It's better than the alternate,
A strong elusive hell.
My helpless soul you'll rend