Here I am again -

Trying to obtain perfection by my own terms

And failing miserably.

I feel as if I am screaming much too loud

(listen to my voice crack!)

Yet I am asked to scream louder.

Is it that I am going to always be judged?

It's like living your life for heaven yet

being destined for hell.

Oh how that frightens me!

I'd rather take judgement into my own hands

And use my skin as the battleground.

This is a war waged on acceptance.

My skin - the color of the palest egg

And just as fragile -

Shudders from this intentional scandal.

I smell failure - no matter how much soap I use

It seems I cannot scrub away my skin...

And pain.... this pain of failure feels as if

Everybody is demanding me to tear myself apart and

Scratch the length of my arms, yet they refuse to accept

The bitter beads of blood that collect with

My now worthless skin.

Here I am again -

A mound of quivering flesh

Surrendering to a cold metal reality,

(However harsh and sharp it be....)

Failing yet again.