My beautiful loyal devoted friend
I don't know if I want to kill you.
I love your tidy, destructive beauty
but the constant need to feed and thrill you
drains me of myself; my health is food for your perverse appeal.
Your allure us a distant dream
your agony is painfully real.

But you're my rock, that I cling to
surrounded by the tidal waves,
the window when I'm choked by smoke
consoling, constant, calm embrace.

When I let go, your grip tightens.
Your choking, smothering, powerful hold.
Your fingernails shred my flesh
you rip up dreams of growing old.

You are beautiful.
But if you don't die, I will.