i palm the pills
slipping them into
pockets with holes
i think they want to
live in the world
underfoot and not
in my belly
where they slowly
poison the acid
that dwells there

the time runs
it's a race to be
won
i type out numbers
and code
it's one
now three
by the time my
hands start shaking
it's half past five
and i can't think
anymore
the thoughts have
disappeared into
a void
i lick my lips and
feel my thirst
no time for water
my fingers have
to run ahead over
the keys and type
out the next function

i've forgotten what
wanting feels like
i look at a pretty
girl and feel nothing
no clench in the belly
interest has gone dead
boys are simple equations
out of mind, out of awareness
mindless drone
what do you say to your
cunt when it's died?
sorry but i'll replace you
just need to call the
market for a new one
a new one that's much
prettier and smells like roses
i hate flowers

it's almost five
no time to read about sex
that means nothing
in the end
just time to think about
whether i should put
the next pill into the hole
in my pocket and imagine i
can feel it tumbling down
there are people here
i can't say what they look
like
just units
one full gross

unit, me, empty
trodding on crushed pills