When I was little I didn’t have a mother
But I thought that I was just another
Kid and that all moms were that way
I didn’t know that it was not "normal"
I didn’t know my pain
Staring at my reflection
Until tears came down like rain
Up all night
While they had a fight
My mom and her one of many boyfriends
I wondered with all my might
When she would stop
And pay attention to me
So all alone I sat and cried
Staring at my reflection
Trying to find love inside
I only found loneliness
I only found hate
I only found nothing
Nothing to bait
My mother to love me
Until he gave me hope
But he wonted something in return
My body of sorts
So young...yet so evil
5 years old raped
A 7 year old to blame
I tried to tell
I tried to get him to stop
But I only was blamed
For his mischievous games
I was punished
For "lying" about what he was doing
So I just took it
After a while I didn’t feel it anymore
Maybe he’s to blame
For all my pain…
Years from then here I am 12
Going on to 13
I have scars on my arms
But more on my heart
All my feelings
Tearing me apart
They say I should know better
They say I should be ashamed
But I’m not
I’m dealing with my pain
It may not be their "way"
But it’s mine
They can’t take it from me
They didn’t even try
They just watched me
Like some freak
Afraid to touch my arms
Afraid to brush my cheek
How did I get so different?
So deranged
Kids at school laugh and point
Day through day
I don’t have many friends
As you can see
I’m not that popular
Or even pretty
How I wish I was skinny
How I wish I was perfect
How I wish I could be like everyone else
Instead of always hurting
I wish they understood
I wish they would help
But my heart has to mend
On its own
That what I’ve learned
No one will help me
No one can save me
I can only save myself
I’ve learned that through the years
Friends will lie and cheat
Family will stare and judge
Only I can be there for myself forever
Until the end…
Hover soon that may be
But I still have stuff to do
I want to make my children’s life happy
I want them to be able to talk to me
I have so much to do
Only little did I start
So here is to my recovery
A poem from a friend
A poem to help mend…