I knew the room was empty, I knew, but somehow I still checked everything anyway. You never know. Most people find a reasonable explanation for the shadows creeping under their bed, at least, when they get older. I'm older now, 10 years older from when I first started, at 6. That makes me 16 now, is 16 old? Old enough to not be afraid anymore? I should be, but I am not. I saw "those things" with my own eyes, they hide themselves in shadows, waiting for everyone to go and leave me alone. They make sure that I will not be disturbed, they certainly do. My heartbeat was slowly rising again, and in my body slowly spread a vivid numbness. Quickly I pulled my foot from the shadows. My arms I clenched around me, rocking back and forth, back and forth, back and...

It never comes when I'm not alone, I only notice from the scars and the lost words on scattered paper I did something wrong again. I read it from your lips when you seem to feel so disappointed in me. I am no controller, I am the controlled. Controlled by my own fears that grasp my ankle's and wrists like chains. Struggle I do, and not only with the fear. A gasp rose from my throat, was it mine? The scenery engulfs me as I start running, the air seems to breath me in, suffocating me, salty tears now running down my cheek I cry, and cry and call out your name a million times. Why did you leave me alone with my shadows? Why did you hand me over to my worst fears? I am now almost devoured by the surrounding darkness, stricken by panic I reach out for the first weapon I can defend myself with; a shining blade of power, a safekeep, an amulet and a talisman. I feel saved when I realise while falling down. I again lost myself. No ,...not lost myself... I lost while fighting myself...