Tears have long since dried up
Emotions not allowed to surface
Self-esteem beaten down to a pulp
Happy dreams are not enough
to sustain my day to day existence.
Longing to be held, affirmed
of my importance.
Yet I remain untouched
Tampons my only lovers.
Dear God, I try so hard
When does my burden lessen?
Stability-what a concept
Where do I apply?
Young, naive times are yellowing
and acquiring an essence of
idealism.
Older, always older, but objectivity
is lacking.
Why the need to continue the tradition
of pain others have afflicted on me?
Masochist.
Monotony, try to draw away, but
I'm pulled back into the circle.
Interrupt, give me something new.
Too long a routine, no feelings-
Maybe I can find feeling
With my pins and razors?