in this lonely world
where no one understands my battle
and with no one
to satisfy my needs...

i was born.

unreachable male wonders
drives my thoughts to fantasy
but when fantasy doesn't ever
turn to reality

even fantasy embraces
loneliness,
to the point of total
madness.

judgment my torturing bath,
being in love my daily death and
loneliness
my daily bread.

my youth should be
a joyful time
not the time
all joy vanish.

every time i see him...,
in reality or fantasy,
i crumble
inside.

like a leech
sucking my blood
sucking the life
out of my veins

cause what i need
i cannot get
and what i can have
i do not want.

every crush...
my curse,
my cage,
my daily death.