Sitting in the corner looking around me, I see it all and I hear it all but I'm not really there. I sit staring, listening and dying inside and before me they sit planning and controlling my life.

"We're only trying to help you" but I don't want help, I don't need it.
"We only want you to be happy" but I'm happy they way I am, changing me will only make you happy.
"You know that if you don't let us help you,you'll die" Well, if you want me to be happy you'll let me die.

Still they go on and on making MY decisions, ruling MY life, doing "whats best for me" but the more they do that the more I suffer all because they "want to help". I don't want their help and I don't need it. I sit in the corner and scream at them to leave me alone but they don't hear me,they ignore me they don't want to know what I have to say because I'm sick, I'm not well, I'm troubled and its all in my mind so no one wants to know about it,all they care about is "helping me recover". Don't they get that this is me, this is who I am, this is how I want to be, just because I don't want to go along pretending to be something I'm not, pretending to be happy and doing everything I can to make them happy, they tell me there's something wrong with me and I need help. Maybe I do but not for the reasons they say...

She starves to numb the pain.
Seeks perfection to forget the pain.
Cuts to release the pain.
Pushes them away to end the pain.

They only see that she starves, cuts and pushes them away, they ignore that its because she's in pain and she's hurting, they ignore it because they know that they're only making it worst and it's something they can't help, they cant help her because they don't know why she's hurting and the truth is neither does she.

So here I sit in the corner screaming whispers, visible but invisible. Making decisions about my life but it's not me that's making them. An observer to my own life, sitting in the corner in pain and weeping but never seen and never heard, living a life that is no longer mine. Getting "help" but getting worse.