I don't really know why I had started cutting again. But from the first day of school on this new year, the days I did do anything were getting so much closer together. Within three weeks I was cutting every second day and one week, a little further down the track I was cutting quite badly and had to be taken home every second day that week because they needed steri-strips.

It was in those few weeks that people finally began listening. After a year of knowing about my cutting (the councillors, my mum, my best friend) they still couldn't address the problem. You see the reason i would cut was because I was so afraid of failure, being called 'weak' and 'weakling' and people constantly telling me I'm a failure and I'll never amount to much, all my life had always left me feeling pathetic because I had believed them. Mainly because I needed help with instructions and things, but no one seemed to care enough to see if I in fact HAD a learning disorder.

Finally I'm getting the help I've needed, that no one gave me. The diagnoses? Dyscalculia (rhymes with peculiar) is a maths related learning disorder. At fourteen years old i think I've done pretty well, although i get a little behind with logical things and life can get difficult. But i can say i haven't cut deep in about a month!!!! The one thing that blows me away is it took, 1 year of small cuts, a term of deeper cuts and an overdose for them to listen. I just think it took so much to get them to hear. It's pathetic.