I've always been a whisper away from death.
One step away,
Looking over the edge.
Remember me as I was,
Not as you wanted me to be.

Look upon my still limbs,
See how they hang
Unmoving
Pale
Deathlike.
Strange really
For a dead one.

Look into my staring eyes,
Finally see the madness
That brought me down.
Don't shy away from
The blatant insanity
That still shines darkly
From behind the corpses glaze.

Touch the blood that runs
Slowly from my slightly open mouth.
Oh, it still flows
How much did you miss me by?
One minute?
Two?
Torment yourself forever
With what if
And maybe
As my shade flies past.
You just missed your chance.
You could have saved me.

Fuck you all
And fuck your good intentions,
What did meaning well
Ever do for me?
You throw knives of sympathy
Aimlessly at my bleeding soul,
Not stopping to see
If they hit the mark
Or if they break on my stone heart.
That gruesome hole,
The one in my bare chest,
That is the legacy
Of trying to rip out my heart,
The dead weight.
Stare at the blood in wonder
Gape at the torn skin
And at the broken fingernails.
Go on,
It might make you feel better.

Remember me as
One who was odd,
The weird outcast,
Girl unseeing
Unfeeling
Dead before death
Came to claim me.
You all know
That I was dead
Long before my breath stopped.
Admit it,
You all know it is true.

Pull back from the
Horrified close ups
And still snapshots,
See me finally as I am.
Red hair tangled, matted
I think that it's twisted with blood.
See my open eyes,
No blinking, no life left.
See the yawning hole
And the absence of my heart,
Don't gloss over the horror.
See the long rope,
Notice the intricate braid,
Trace the loop over the beam
Down to the taut knot
Tight around my neck.

This is true horror
But this is who I truly am.
See it,
Admit it,
Don't try to hide it anymore.
I was always hand in hand with death,
Now we walk the pathways
Beyond you all.
I was never what you wanted
No we are all free.
Goodbye.