My name is Heather I am 29. I have been cutting since age 14. I have been in and out of institutions and hospitals since 14. I was abused as a kid and no one would listen so I ran from home. I would get sent home and run again. I was put in a children's home and started cutting there. It started with scratching then cutting. I did a lot of head banging too. I hated life and wanted to end it. I finally was on my own at 18. I kept up the cutting and now was in adult group homes and institutions. By this time I was diagnosed with BPD, PTSD, Bi-Polar, and Panic attacks I ended up in trouble with the law for egging cars and mailbox baseball at age 18. I was on probation for a couple years and they got tired of my emotional instability and sent me to prison. I did four and a half years. I tried killing myself and hurting myself in there a lot. I gave up on life while in there. I started more behaviors in there. I resorted to swallowing foreign objects. Pens, pencils, spoons, toothbrushes, wire fence. When I finally got out I did not care anymore. I kept up these behaviors of self-injury.

It took me 4 years after getting out to really face myself and try to change. I now have a worker that sees me twice a week for an hour and we talk or do things. I have a Intensive Psych. Rehab worker. We work on coping and stress management and recognizing symptoms and triggers. I see a therapist twice a month. I also have a psychiatrist I see every two months. I have been off meds for a year and a half. I keep busy to keep my thoughts from racing. I realize that it depends on the environment I put myself in and how I cope with things that get me into trouble. I use to be in the hospital 3-4 times a month. I have not been in for 10 months. I have not cut in 7 months. No kind of erratic behaviors. I think I am on my way as long as I can keep using all the skills I have obtained.