What about the children you've mentioned? What do you do to keep them from thinking that something like this is okay?

I'm so sorry. I am currently studying to be a child psychiatrist and though you are not a child, perhaps someday when I'm all done we can meet and I can help you, because I understand... and not too many doctors do. I myself was once told I was stupid for cutting by a doctor. I hope to change the way doctors currently think by taking on children in the future who SI, have ED's, and other problems. I feel that if I start young they have a better chance of survival.. I hope you find your peace.

I'm just reading this site and wanted to let you know that I think I understand in a way. Its simple - physical pain is so distracting, it diverts your whole brain away from your emotional pain, or any other thought or feeling you cannot bear to deal with any more. I dont feel ashamed of you or disgusted, scared or think you are mad. You're normal. Who would want to suffer except that one type of suffering blocks out a worse one? Hell, I'd take the lesser suffering any day, and if that means cutting your body then theres a logic in that. But it only provides temporary relief, it doesnt make the real pain go away. So obviously the cutting has to get worse because the real pain is always there, probably getting worse too. I've never cut myself but I feel pain inside and I can understand immediately how cutting might bring a temporary relief, like taking heroin or something. Be strong, face your real pain and tell it, "fuck you, if its the last thing i ever do I will overcome you". Because cutting is not really a victory, its just replacing one pain with another, simpler one, which you can understand and deal with better, because you can see the cause of it right in front of your eyes, so its less scary. Like, "I feel this pain because I made the choice to cut, I'm in control of this one". Get so fucking angry with it, but REALLY take control by denying yourself the easy option of physical pain, take the hard road, prepare for a fight with your inner self (the bits you dont like) and get a real victory, I think you can do it. I believe in you. Any person, any voice in your own mind which tells you that you are scum, worthless, defeated, that is a lie. I know it, even though I do not know you. Prejudice and fear will always be there in the minds of 90% of people, but fuck them. You are you, theres only one you and you deserve a life and some peace. I hope my words mean something to you. Good luck, Tom hamactor@freeuk.com